well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
