Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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