On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize