lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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