Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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