wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
