in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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