i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
