Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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