My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
