Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
