can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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