I need to stop coming to work sober
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize