Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
