Its about making memories worth repressing
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
