whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The best revenge is premature balding
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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