Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
