I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
