The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
