Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
