whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
