I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
