Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So vagazzling was a success
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
