this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dignity is for republicans.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
