reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
