Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
