thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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