Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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