her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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