theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
