It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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