dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Two words: blizzard sex
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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