Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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