She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
