Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

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(214): View more from Texas

bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.

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(518): View more from New York

I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.

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