White coat. Heels.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
