Just fell off a train. Bad.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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