If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
