how can u be prego again
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
