I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Four minutes until I can fart!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
