She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
