The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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