True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
