I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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