Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
