I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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