I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
that's an acceptable place to lick
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
