Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
