Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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