i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Got any extra dick over there? Iโm running low
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