i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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