so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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