You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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