i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
