kristin has been a bad kristin
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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