I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
