i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
