remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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